All I Wanted Was You??

Been a while since I posted anything, was thinkin "I should write sumpin, get the new year started right if not a week late." But I wasn't sure what I wanted to write. I'm thinkin about a writing book entitled "It's not my fault I'm better than you" but I'm not sure how that one would go over - though my therapist would give me gold stars for doing it.

Anyhoo, I was driving around listening to the album from 30 Seconds To Mars, you know, Jared Leto's band. I know, I know .. another pretty boy actor making believe he's a rock star ... Keanu Reeves with DOGSTAR, Russell Crowe with 30 ODD FOOT OF GRUNT .. why do actors who play in rock bands pick the silliest of names???? Anyhoo, besides the silly name, there really is no comparing Mr. Leto's band with the others cause they're pretty good. I'm not a huge fan, don't know if I like more than 2 or 3 songs on the album, but its pretty good.

I'm getting off point, I'm not writing about Mr. Leto's band as much as the song THE KILL. You've prolly heard it if you listen to popular rock stations ... its loud, its slick, there's some screaming, actually lots of screaming, etc... I'm not exactly sure everything he's saying in the song, but clearly he's all worked up about a woman (ok, maybe a man, that's cool, I don't judge) that he's in love with or was in love with who's breakin his heart and/or killing him (though I don't think literally). When he's at the peak of his emotional outburst, he screams at the top of his lungs (with, no doubt, the aid of some slick production values):

"I am finished with you, look in my eyes, your killing me killing me, ALL I WANTED WAS YOU."

Wow. All I wanted was you. Simple. Heartbreaking really. Have you ever felt that way? We see it in movies, tv, read it in books (for those who actually read, and by the way, thank you), that someone is so very clear on what they want in life and what they want, all they want, is this one person. ALL I WANTED WAS YOU. I've never said it. I've never felt it. I have to be honest here, I've been in love, head over heels in love, can't sleep, can't eat, making myself sick in love, but never have I thought or felt "ALL I WANTED WAS YOU."

It's beautiful in it's simplicity no? The idea that another person makes you so happy that she is all that you want. You don't want anyone else. You don't want that cute co-worker you've been flirting with. You don't want the girlfriend that got away. You don't want that big promotion at work, the big house, the bmw, the playstation3. No you don't really want any of that, all you want is her.

I think its a much more powerful statement than "You're all I need" which I'm sure has been in a song or 2000. Because, lets be honest, there are things that we need. Food, clothing, shelter, internet access, multiple vapid entertainment news channels, reality television shows, pictures of Ms. Spears without underwear. These things we need, so it would be naive to say, "I ONLY NEED YOU." But in a world of wants and wanting, where every day we break the commandment "THOU SHALL NOT COVET," where you ask any person what they want and they can give you a list of anything and everything from clothes to cars to power to money to self respect, for someone to say (and actually mean) that ALL I WANT(ED) WAS YOU. Wow.

I don't think I'll ever be that guy. I do my best to make sure I make myself happy (no, please, dirty birds, we're not talking about masturbation). The way I see it, I make myself happy with everything, then I'll be ready to have that someone special pop in and join in the festivities (again, don't be dirty). But can you imagine being the person that wants nothing but to be with that someone special? Putting all your eggs in that one basket (and by basket I mean hot piece of ass)? I don't think it advisable, but its' pretty damn romantic? Realistic, not so much, ill advised, likely, but romantic, certainly.